jessicajadeevans

Live, Laugh, Love. Thats all that matters.

My Angel.

I’m sorry I haven’t been around to write for a while. A lot has changed this past month, and I’ve had other, more important things on my mind. And I think I’m now ready to share this with you.

On October 15th, 2011, our family received some shocking news that has ultimately changed our life. My beautiful nanny was diagnosed with a brain tumour, which was later discovered to be terminal, meaning we all knew that we would not have much time left to spend with her. 

I was devastated when my mother told me, because my nanny meant the world to me. She was the most incredible woman anyone could ever meet. She was independent, loving, kind, caring and fun to be with, and honestly the best grandparent I could have ever wished for. She did everything for my family, because we meant so much to her, as she did to us. 

Coping with a loved one having cancer is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do, because I was only 16 at the time and didn’t fully understand what would happen to her. I didn’t know how long we had left to spend with her, and neither did any doctor we saw, or any specialist we spoke to. No one knew, which terrified us, but also gave us relief if a way, as we wouldn’t be worrying so much on the future, but living each and every day as it came.

The past 11 months have been so special to our family. We cherish every precious moment we have shared with her, from going out to dinners with family and friends and going on days out shopping with her, to spending days in our pyjamas on the sofa watching Coronation Street (which was her absolute favourite). She had her ups and downs, because she had to go through chemotherapy twice, which made her very unwell and unable to do much. But even through all she’s had to put up with, she remained strong throughout, and never moaned once about anything. It still doesn’t feel real to me.

On September 25th 2012, and 9.25pm, we knew she couldn’t fight anymore. She was ready to give in to this battle, and was sent up to heaven. My beautiful nanny passed away. After a year of fighting off this dreadful illness, it was time for her to give up. She slipped away in her sleep, and I am so grateful that I was at her bedside with her.

Cancer is a terrible thing, and I don’t wish it upon anyone. No one should have to go through the pain, and fear of the unknown. My nanny wasn’t ready to go, she should be here with my family and I, sat in front of the television watching Emmerdale. She should be here getting excited for christmas and helping me plan my 18th birthday. She should be here about to celebrate my mothers 40th. She should be here. Not up there.

My nanny is an inspiration to me, and I am so proud of her for everything she did. She is the strongest woman out there, and an Idol to me. I look up to her. The last thing she told me was that she loved me, which puts me at ease every time I think about her. We were so very close, and I’m so thankful that we have shared many memories together. The last thing I told her was that I was going to make her proud, no matter what. And I will never break that promise. She is my guardian angel, and I know she’ll be with me forever more.

I love you Nanny, forever and always.

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One week.

Wow, I cannot believe its been nearly a month since i’ve posted anything on here. Where does time fly? I think the reason i’ve failed to write anything is because i’ve been too busy soaking up the only english sun we’ve had this summer. I spent the whole of last week at the beach, getting burnt to a crisp because I seem to feel the need to have some sort of tan that isn’t fake!

Why do all teenage girls have this desire to look perfect during summer? No one seems to have a care in the world when it comes to winter, but as soon as May/June strikes, its out with the fake tan and on with the shortest shorts possible. And so what if thats what we like to do, summer is the only time of year we get to have fun with friends, and not worry about whether our studies are complete, or if we’re ready for the exams coming up.

I’ve read a large amount of blogs recently about people stereotyping teenage girls, especially us British girls. Saying how we always dress indecently during the summer time, and pile on the makeup and fake tan to look good. And I don’t think anyone is yet to realise that.. This is England. We don’t have a summer like those in LA, where its gorgeous sun for the majority of summer. We have sun for a week, maybe two if were lucky, so why shouldn’t we make the most of it.

I love summer, and I wish we had more of it here where I live, because as soon as the sun is shining, the mood is lifted instantly, and everyone is happy. I’ve been off college now for a month, and I couldn’t be happier. Its nice to have a few months to relax and do nothing, before the real work of A-Levels kick in.

So I suggest some people think before writing words of hate towards teenage girls. Let them make their own decisions from now on. Because lets face it, we don’t get to be teenagers for long

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Inspirational People

Tonight I went to the cinema to watch a film with my boyfriend. I was a bit apprehensive of the film choice, because I wasn’t too keen on the style of film it was. But I am so glad I decided to watch it, because it has opened my eyes to something big.

Katy Perry has never really inspired me as an artist, and i’ve never really followed her path, for reasons I do not know. I mean, i’ve always listened to her songs, and love her music very much, because she writes some beautiful words that have so much meaning. But for some strange reason, she’s never intrigued me much. But after watching her film ‘Katy Perry- Part Of Me’ my eyes were opened, and my opinion of the pop-star was changed dramatically. 

She is such an inspirational artist, and she isn’t one that has just ‘bought fame overnight.’ This girl has worked for it, and worked for it hard. She had been signed and dropped by record labels quite rapidly, because they never really understood her visions when on stage. But that never stopped her. She picked herself up again and again, and pursued her dream of being a world wide superstar. She was motivated, and knew what she wanted from the very beginning, and never took ‘no’ for an answer. 

I think everyone should take a leaf out of Katy Perry’s book, and realise that we can make our dreams happen, all we’ve got to do is work hard, and be prepared to sacrifice everything we’ve got. We need to see that it’s not always easy, but its do-able. Impossible should not be a word used in our vocabulary, unless its used to say ‘I’m Possible’ because you are possible, your dreams are possible, and you can make it happen. 

I also really look up to Katy Perry, because she’s not one of those melodramatic celebrities, who demands things to be done left, right and centre. She’s her own boss, and she takes things into her own hands. She treats people with respect, and I think thats why people respect her back. 

What really opened my eyes, was her ‘meet and greet’ sessions, which she did before every show, without fail. Even if she was feeling stressed, or tired, or upset, it never stopped her, because she knows how much those meet and greet sessions really mean to her fans. And its what keeps her biggest fans, her biggest fans. She was emotionally drained at one part of the film, from the stress of the tour and her split with Russell Brand, and her assistant told her that she could cancel the meet and greet so Katy could rest before she performed. But she persevered, and refused to cancel it.I think that really shows how much her fans mean to her.

The lyrics she writes are unbelievably beautiful, and have so much meaning. Theres always reasoning behind what she’s writing about, and I know a lot of them relate to me personally. Her writing is so unique and unusual, which is what makes her so original. Theres only one of her type out there, and I really believe that.

“If its not like the movies
 Thats how it should be
 When he’s the one, i’ll come undone
 And my world will stop spinning.”

So Katy Perry is my inspiration. I will always look up to her, and follow her values of life, because they make sense to me. I am so glad I went to see this film today. It really has changed my life.

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The Male Species.

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

I could not agree more. I still fail to understand the male species, because they are so different to us women. I never really realised how much we differ as people, but after moving to college I was in for a massive surprise.

I previously studied at a Grammar school for girls, so I never really mixed with boys at all. Yes I had male friends, but I never got to see them in school around their friends. I assumed that by the time I transferred to college to start my A-Levels, the boys that I would meet would have a sense of maturity about them.

I was horribly wrong.

Girls mature around the age of 16, so I assumed boys wouldn’t be far behind. But apparently, that’s not strictly true. They just don’t understand how to behave politely and with dignity, but instead find humour in punching each other and throwing food from one end of the cafe to the other.

I found myself spending my friday night with a group of 17-year-old boys (6 to be exact). I was spending the weekend at my boyfriend’s house, but after much determination, he managed to persuade me to have his friends over for a ‘boys night in’. I was fine with it, even though I’m not exactly keen on the people he’d invited, I was happy that he wanted to spend time with his friends too.

They arrived before I did, because I decided it would be a good idea to leave them to it for a couple of hours first, so I went out and saw some family friends. But at about 8.30, I turned up at my boyfriend’s house, thinking they’d be watching TV or just sat chatting. Apparently, that’s not what teenage boys do. I walked into the kitchen to find them all on the floor punching each other, and ‘bundling’ on top of one another. You would have thought these boys were in the playground of a middle school, not a group of teenagers taking their A-Levels at college!

But it made me think, why do boys find things like this funny? You would never see a group of teenage girls ‘bundling’ on the kitchen floor. I thought after having a boyfriend for over a year, I’d know how they work. But no, the male species are completely alien to me.

Welcome to my world.

Just thought i’d share some of my old photographs that I recently rediscovered on my laptop. Just a selection of ‘City’ topic images..

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First love.

People say you can never forget your first love, because it is the strongest and most important love of all. However, we have this stereotypical idea of teenagers going to school, falling ‘in love’ with someone, and breaking up with each other a few months later.

And the break-up process goes on, over and over again. From Email break ups, phone break ups, text break ups, as well as facebook break ups. But rarely ever the ‘face-to-face’ break up, because lets face it, a lot of teenagers out there haven’t got the maturity to do this yet. And teenage couples don’t usually do this just once. I would say on average, a teenage couple breaks up and get back together at least 3 times before moving on. 

Falling in love is so important to teenagers now a days, and there is a great amount of pressure for us to find the perfect boyfriend, fall in love and take it to the next level. We want to feel those butterflies when we set eyes on them, and a rush of excitement when they hold us close. We want to find someone thats not afraid to kiss us infront of their friends, cuddle us from behind, play with our hair and tickle our back in bed. But maybe thats too much to ask for?

Well not for me.

“The future for me is already a thing of the past -
You were my first love and you will be my last” – Bob Dylan

You may think i’m naive, or just stupid, but I honestly do think that I’ve found my ‘true’ love. I’m at such a high in my life right now, and he makes me so happy. My heart beats faster every time I speak to him, and when he holds me, everything bad in my life seems to disappear. I’m in love, and i’m not afraid to admit it. I’m not in one of those stereotypical ‘2 month’ relationships, instead i’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and I couldn’t be happier. He’s there for me when I need him, through the good and the bad. He’s not afraid to show me off infront of his friends, or play with my hair and tickle my back… and its the best feeling ever.

“There’s no love like the first.” – I couldn’t agree more.

Spread the word.

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I’ve just seen this photograph being shared around my facebook page, so I thought i’d help by sharing it with you on here. I’d really appreciate if you would take a minute to share this, and re-blog it to as many people as you can. Because I’m sure if you were in this families situation, you’d want as many people to be aware of this poor little boy. 

Thank you.

Extended Family.

About a week ago, I took a trip to Devon with my Mum and younger Brother, as well as my Mums best friends family: Her 3 daughters, her brother and his girlfriend, and their 2 daughters, and her Mum (my ‘pretend’ Nanna).

There was 12 of us in total, so yes, it was a little bit crazy, but it was great being part of another family and feeling comfortable around them. There were 5 adults, 6 children (and me). The children were all girls, apart from my brother, and they were aged 3, 4, 5, 6 and 11. Being with that many children was hard work, because you’re constantly on the lookout and keeping account of who’s with who, and where everybody is.

But actually, the trip was really enjoyable. We went swimming, played on the bungee trampolines, went to watch shows, took a short trip to the (rather wet) beach, and also visited ‘Crealy Adventure Park’ for the day. Going away for the weekend gave me the opportunity to take some pictures of everyone, and I thought i’d share a few with you.

Its amazing how much you can love a group of people who aren’t even related to you. I’d do anything for these people, because they mean so much to me:

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These are my favourite photographs from the weekend in Devon. I love my extended family more than ever.

Will we ever have a hot summer?

Today is one of those ‘can’t be bothered’ days, where I know for a fact I will spend the whole 24hours sat in bed. Today is what our college call a ‘new students day’ which basically means all current students get the day off while the former year 11’s have a taster day at the college. 

So you’d think, no college, no work to do, i’ve got the ability to drive anywhere i want, that i’d be going out and doing something fun with others. But no. Because as per usual, its raining, and there is nothing to do besides drive to McDonalds or spend £10 on a cinema ticket.

I’m so fed up of this awful, depressing weather we get here in the UK. If I could have 1 wish, it would be to have a hot summer (either that, or move me to california- i’m not fussy!). So looking outside and deciding to have a ‘do nothing’ day, I thought i’d have a little look through some old photos of previous holidays, where there is actually evidence of some REAL sun!

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This photograph was taken from our balcony last summer, onboard the Azura ship. I absolutely love cruising, and I personally think its the best way to spend 2 weeks on holiday. Surrounded by sun, sea, friends, food, and so much fun. If you’ve never been on a cruise before, I highly recommend it as a family holiday, because there is so much to do, and theres something different for all ages. 

I’ve been trying to persuade my Dad to book another cruise for the summer, but its not looking hopeful. That wont stop me though, i’m going to try my hardest to persuade him to go on another cruise, in any way possible. Please Daddy, take me back to the sunshine!

Is anyone else feeling the same as me when it comes to our depressing summer?

The wonders of Youtube.

I don’t know how many of you have heard of a girl called ‘Jenna Marbles’ but I absolutely love her! She’s a Youtube sensation, posting videos every week which display a wide variety of topics, ranging from her views on marriage, to things you can do instead of cleaning your room. I think she is the funniest girl ever, and I have sat at my computer for hours on end, laughing to myself and the videos she posts.

So I just wanted to let everyone know about her; even though the majority of the world know about her anyway. And show you all my favourite video of hers is called “How to trick people into thinking you’re good looking.”

I really recommend you watch this clip, because I can assure you that you will be crying with laughter! (Unless you have no sense of humour that is.)

Heres the link:

Enjoy!

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